SPY PIGEON.

Police in India are holding a ....... pigeon under armed guard after it was caught on an alleged spying mission for  Pakistan - and straight away I'm thinking James Bond.

A local found the bird which had a ring on it's leg and a Pakastani telephone number and address on it's body in red ink.

Taken to a nearby police station, officer Ramdas Singh Chahal said he believed the pigeon landed with a message, although no note was found. He said no one was allowed to visit the pigeon, which may have been on a "special mission of spying" adding that it was being kept in an air-conditioned room.

E-mailed this by a friend, I was convinced it was some kind of a joke but no, THERE IT WAS for all to see.

FROM A HOTEL FOR GOLDFISH TO .........

+ A goldfish hotel has opened in Schiphol airport, Amsterdam, for holidaymakers worried about what to do with their pets while they're away. The fish have a tennis court and a swimming pool.

- Hmm sounds a bit fishy to me (pun intended), someones idea of a joke? No, there it is IN WRITING.

Perhaps not so 'barking mad' .......

+ A dog hotel with an artificial beach in Berlin has proved such a success that two more branches are to open. Each dog has a private air-conditioned booth, a sun lounger and access to the theatre, cinema (to see the movie Reservoir Dogs perhaps), exhibitions and classical music (Bach, I presume.)

+ Forget ants in your pants. German animal smuggler Hans Kurt Kubus, 58, was jailed for 14 weeks after boarding a plane in New Zealand with 44 lizards, worth £200 each, stuffed down his trousers.

+ Faced with the threat of not being able to keep his pet lion, a 35-year-old man in Poland registered his house as a circus so he could legally house his four-legged friend.

+ A couple of birdwatchers spent days looking at owls - only to discover they were plastic fakes. Ken and Fay Jackson, from Devon, were left red-faced after taking photographs and even contacting a local wildlife expert for advice on the birds.

+ Performing Shakespeare to cows helps them produce more milk.
Renditions of the Bard's prose were found to relax dairy herds and boosted production by as much as four per cent.
Researchers have previously claimed that cows produced more milk when they HERD slow MOOsic which is thought to alleviate stress.
In the latest Bizarre experiment, a theatre company set out to see whether the same principle would apply with drama.

Obviously cultured creatures. How about these Shakespearean plays?

• The Taming Of The Moo.
• The Winters Pail.
• The Milkman Of Venice.
• As Moo Like It.
• The Dairy Wives Of Windsor. *

And if that doesn't work, how about .....

+  A car wash for cattle? The industrial-sized device features a swinging car brush roller similar to those used to clean cars. The loofah-style brush is fixed inside a milking parlour or barn - the brushing motion, it is claimed, increases blood circulation and improveds milk yield. (VIEW PICTURE)

+ UnBEElievable. 16-year-old Nellie Odam-Wilson (pictured BEElow) is raising money for a charity trip to Africa by keeping the art of 'bee beards' alive.

* Please don't blame me for these suggestions, they are the thoughts of Telegraph columnist, Andrew Hough. Can you come up with anything better, Shakespeare or otherwise?

And to finish, how about this cow joke?

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

ANGEL OF BROOKLYN.

ANGEL OF BROOKLYN by JANETTE JENKINS.

It is January, 1914 and Jonathan Crane returns home from his travels with a new American bride, former Coney Island showgirl Beatrice. In the remote Lancashire village Beatrice is the focus of attention, the men captivated by her beauty, the women initially charmed by tales of her upbringing in Normal, Illinois with her father, an amateur taxidermist, and her brother, a preacher, although she will take the story of how she became the Angel of Brooklyn to her grave. But when the men head off to fight in the Great War the glamorous newcomer slowly becomes an object of suspicion and jealousy for the women who are left behind and, as the years pass, and their resentment grows, Beatrice's secret proves to be her ending.

....... From the outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE: A week before they killed her, Beatrice told them about the dead birds, the guillemot, the glass-eyed buzzards, the sparrowhawks in clusters on the mantelpiece.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: He stuffed one of these little marmosets and he gave it to his wife to keep as a companion. Now she dresses it in soldier suits and takes the creature everywhere. When she visits friends and restaurants, she hooks it onto a chair by its tail.

A real mixture of a book in that there were several elements to it - combining the story of Beatrice's life as a married woman to her childhood and then onto her life as the Angel of Brooklyn and back again, all  interlaced with the letters sent between the various people in Beatrice's life - this was a very 'busy' story.

Rather quirky in style. I think the author took a bit of a risk choosing to write the book as she did. A risk that, to me, didn't always pay off as at times the flow of the narrative became slightly disjointed, the plot interrupted.

All about love, loss and what it can mean to be seen as being different, there were some interesting, well written characters. I especially admired Beatrice as a character - truly rounded, complex and with several sides to her nature, I found her fascinating. If only the same could be said of all the others - suspicious and envious, it was amazing to see the change in the women once their men had gone to war.

A very readable book which I, on the whole, really enjoyed. But what happened to the ending? Very strange, it seemed to me that the author had run out of ideas and just didn't know how to finish the story which ended rather abruptly.

Angel Of Brooklyn was a book club read.

WANNA PLAY?

Visiting Hawk over at BROKEN DREAMS AND A  LITERARY ODYSSEY I was impressed by her suggestion of a BUDDYREAD, the idea being you "grab a book, grab a buddy, chat, discuss, and talk to each other while you are reading the book." Sound like a good idea? Not too sure how it works in practical terms, perhaps you discuss by e-mail and then publish the 'results'. Anyway, anyone out there care to join me as a buddyreader? Which book would you choose for us to read? OR if not me, which other person (perhaps an author, perhaps a fellow blogger) would you love to become your buddyreader?

TWO TO READ?

Any books caught your eye recently? These two certainly caught my attention.

Read LIFE OF PI by YAAN MARTEL? Then you might be interested in his second offering - BEATRICE AND VIRGIL.
A fable about the Holocaust featuring a talking donkey and monkey. "Just about every element in that description, from fable to monkey, is likely to offend someone" states James Lasdun reporting in the Guardian. I couldn't agree more, I'm sure that this is going to be one of those books that you either love or loathe. (READ ARTICLE IN FULL)

Translated into English for the first time, this classic story of Nazi resistance is a surprise bestseller here in the UK.
Written more than 60 years ago, Hans Fallada's ALONE IN BERLIN "has become not only Penguin's best-selling classic but it has reached the official UK Top 50 for all UK publishers, a rare achievement."
Inspired by the real life heroics of working class couple OTTO & ELSIE HAMPEL, the novel, written in 1947, is all about an ordinary Berlin couple "who in a small way stage a protest against the Nazis after their only son is killed in action in 1940, by denouncing Hitler in postcards which they leave across the city." - Dalya Alberge, reporting for The Observer. (READ ARTICLE IN FULL)

INSPIRED BY ........

Many thanks to Vicki over at THE WOLF'S DEN who it turns out WRITES LIKE ......

Curious to find out just who I wrote like, I visited a site called I WRITE LIKE, entered the following paragraph

Something I'd thought about for a lot of years, it was my late Nana's insistence that we were related to the Rowntree family that finally decided me. That, and the very first episode of Who Do you Think You Are - A BBC tv programme in which 'celebrities' trace their family trees.

Now as lots of you are aware I love (with a capital 'l') my chocolate. So much so that people have been known to joke that it is chocolate that runs through my veins, that when I cut myself I bleed pure chocolate - imagine then how excited I was to think that Nana could be right and I might indeed be related to JOSEPH ROWNTREE, founder of the chocolate dynasty.

to be informed that I wrote like .............

STEPHEN KING.

Hmm, not too sure just how they work that one out.

So, who do you write like? Go check out the above link and let us know.

Also inspired by another blogger, many thanks to Traci at 38 AND GROWING for her SEVEN LINK CHALLENGE which prompts us to post seven things with regard to our blogs. (My answers are given in red and can be viewed by clicking on the links.)

1. Your first post. HELLO.
2. A post you particularly enjoyed writing. EVERYBODY SAY "CHEESE."
3. A post which had a great discussion. CHILDREN, GROWING UP TOO SOON?
4. A post on someone else's blog that you'd wish you'd written. Oh dear, so many to choose from but in the end I'd have to say Jenn's ST.JOSEPH'S SCHOOL OF NURSING firstly because of her wonderful tribute to her mom and secondly for the beautiful cake (pictured right) that she made.
5. A post with a title you are proud of. SPLAT.
6. A post you wish more people had read. AS MY NANA WOULD SAY.
7. Your most visited post. CANNY GOOD GRIEF, SHE'S USING AAL THOSE FUNNY WORDS AGYEN. WHAT'S SHEH TAAKIN ABOOT?

A great theme don't you think, quite nostalgic. Why not take your own walk down memory lane, I'd love to read what you come up with.

And finally, inspired by all the competitions out there, if you haven't already done so please check out my Competition/Giveaway Page by clicking on the link at the top of the page.

THE LONG SONG.

THE LONG SONG by ANDREA LEVY.

Purchased through Book People, The Long Story is my 8th choice and final read in the TYPICALLY BRITISH BOOK CHALLENGE which can mean only one thing - whoopee! - I've reached 'Cream Crackered' level. To see the last book reviewed and links to all other books read for this challenge click HERE.

You do not know me yet but I am the narrator of this work. My son Thomas, who is printing this book, tells me it is customary at this place in a novel to give the reader a little taste of the story that is held within these pages. As your storyteller, I must convey that this tale is set in Jamaica during the last turbulent years of slavery and the early years of freedom that followed.

...... from the outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (from the foreword): The book you are now holding within your hand was born of a craving.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: Although once the groom at Amity, he had purchased his freedom many seasons ago, laying down two hundred pounds in coins and notes while the massa's mouth gaped.

One of the most prettiest eye-catching covers I've ever seen -  bright yellow with a gold leaf design and an inner cover that is of the softest shade of pale blue.

At first I really struggled with this story, frustrated as the way the author constructed sentences was difficult to grasp. However, once this was overcome, I found myself enjoying the book.

That said, I couldn't help but find the constant use of the word 'nigger' rather upsetting. Perhaps realistic in the context of the story, I never-the-less found its usage to be disturbing and not always necessary. Perhaps this though was the objective of Andrea Levy - to take her readers out of their comfort zone.

With a similar feel to it as A MERCY by Toni Morris this is a far better read in my opinion.Thought provoking with some well written characters, though, truth be told, for some reason or other, I did not find myself warming to a single one of them, it is ripe for a sequel and could make a good film. Would I read any such follow-up/see the movie? Certainly. 

The Long Story was a Book People buy.

BRITAIN'S MOST TRIVIAL COURSE?

I couldn't believe what I was reading - was this some kind of April Fool's Day prank? No, it's mid-June so it couldn't be that.

Five women, between the ages of 16 and 50, took a six-week class in .........
how to walk in high heels.

Yes, that's right, five women took lessons in the art of walking in high heels at a college in South London.

"It was part of a range of extra-curricular 'enrichment' activities we offer" says a spokesperson.
Chyna Whyne, the high heels guru leading the course, started giving lessons after she developed chronic back pain from years of standing in heels.
Seeing her course as more than learning how to strut down the street in style. "Some women come to me with low self-esteem (and if Whyne is anything to go by, chronic back pain I shouldn't wonder), some have marriage break-ups or problems at work, and after I've finished working with them, they are filled with confidence (if only it were that simple). This is a transformation from head to toe," she claims. - Emine Saner, the Guardian.

I really don't know whether to laugh or cry. On first glance, it seemed such a silly course to be offering women (and men?) and yet, on thinking about it, it's quite sad to think that this women actually believes that the answer to some of these problems is being able to walk in a pair of heels.Charging £150 per week for this course, it is even worse to think that a college is making money out of (to use Whyne's words) women, some of whom have self-esteem issues.

Oh and in case you don't have the time/£150 per week for the course, here are Whyne's top five tips ... for free.

• Do foot exercises - pointing and flexing, ankle rotations and raising on to the balls of the feet.
• Buy the right shoes for you (try flatties?) - (Whyne) sees women who have been wearing the wrong size for years.
• Lead with the ball of your foot. If you lead with the heel, this can make you unbalanced (nothing to do with walking on ? inch heels then!) and the heel can break (not to mention your ankle). Keep your feet turned out (and to think my physioterrorist spent months trying to rid me of doing just this).
• Keep the knees locked otherwise the lower back starts to lock.
• Try the ALEXANDER TECHNIQUE*.Wearing high heels is a question of balance and this technique (as well as making more money for Whyne/the college?) teaches you how to hold yourself correctly.

*The Alexander Technique is a way to feel better, and move in a more relaxed and comfortable way... the way nature intended - The Complete Guide To the Alexander Technique. Hmm - high heels - as nature intended? It seems to me that  the teachings of Ms. Whyne and the teachings of the Alexander Technique might be at cross purposes here.

THE GIRL WITH GLASS FEET.

THE GIRL WITH GLASS FEET by ALI SHAW.

A mysterious and frightening metamorphosis has befallen Ida MacLaird - she is slowly turning into glass, from the feet up. She returns to St. Hauda's Land, where she believes the glass first took hold, in the vain hope of finding the one man who might just be able to cure her .....

Midas Crook is a young loner, who has lived on the islands his entire life. When he meets Ida, something about her sad, defiant spirit pierces his emotional defences. As Midas helps Ida come to terms with her affliction, she gradually unpicks the knots of his heart, and they begin to fall in love .....

What they need most is time - and time is slipping away fast. Will they find a way to stave off the spread of the glass?

..... From the inner front cover.

FIRST SENTENCE: That winter there were reports in the newspaper of an iceberg the shape of a galleon floating in creaking majesty past St. Hauda's Land, of a snuffling hog leading lost hill-walkers out of the crags beneath Lomdendol Tor, of a dumbfounded ornithologist counting five albino crows in a flock of two hundred.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: But then, one day, I learnt that a single look can change everything.

A debut novel by Ali Shaw. I can't remember the last time I was so disappointed by a book. Having read such an lot about The Girl With Glass Feet on various blogs and other book sites, 97% of it good, perhaps I just expected too much.

Whilst full of good descriptions and, at times, emotionally charged, I felt the novel was let down by the story itself. Supposedly Ida's story, to me, more narrative time was given to Midas with an ending that, though it brought a tear to the eye, left far too many questions unanswered.

As I said, wonderfully descriptive, the passages in which Ida's transformation is mentioned being particularly poignant, there is just something missing from this first novel.

The Girl With Glass Feet was purchased from Amazon. The 7th book read for my TYPICALLY BRITISH BOOK CHALLENGE. (Click HERE for last book reviewed and links to other challenge books read.)

WHAT AN EXCUSE.

Along with football, shopping is probably Husband dearest's least favourite past time. Actually, forget that last sentence - shopping is his least favourite pastime. Given a choice of going shopping or watching a football match, he'd choose the match every time.

Very good at food shopping (with a little help from being able to order on-line), it is clothes shopping and, the even more dreaded, shopping for shoes, he particularly dislikes.

Needless to say then, over the years he's come up with quite a few excuses so as to get out of braving the shops, he's never used this one though - at least not yet.

"I can't go shopping; it'll make me impotent".

Researchers have found that a chemical found on some till receipts contains enough of the hazardous substance BISPHENOL A (BPA) to suppress male hormones.

The compound, used to make ink visible on thermally sensitive paper, could be ingested when men handle receipts and then touch their mouths or handle food.

Professor Frank Sommer, 42, a Berlin-based urologist said "A substance like that could shift the balance of the sex hormones in men." - The Daily Telegraph.

Joking apart, BPA is a truly horrible chemical. Banned in Canada and three American states, it is linked to breast cancer, heart disease, hyperactivity and disorders associated with metabolism amongst other things.

TRUE LOVE NEVER RUNS SMOOTH.

"Fo-or true love never runs smooth, that's what they say But true love is worth all the pain, the heartaches and tears We have to fa-ace." sang the great GENE PITNEY (Click HERE to hear the song).

Never has a truer word been spoken at least not for these unfortunate couples.

* Robert Spencer yelled at his fiancee during a row and was banned from speaking to her until August - even though they are to marry in June.

* A man arrived home in Wvutini, Switzerland, to find his house roof had gone. A divorce judge had ruled that his ex-wife could take it. At least she can't complain about not having a roof over her head.

* A newly-wed couple from Cape Cod, USA, spent their first night as husband and wife in seperate prison cells. The bride tried running over the grooms' ex-girlfriend. She's been charged with assault and battery with an offensive weapon - the wedding car.


* A jilted Swedish hubby pushed 19 mice through his ex's letterbox, trying to scare her to death. She suffered from musophobia - terror of mice and rats. She called the police before fainting in fear.

* A jilted wife has successfully sued her husband's mistress for stealing him away. The scarlet woman has been ordered by a judge in North Carolina, USA, to pay Cynthia Shackleford £6 million in damages.

And, sad but sort of funny, my favourite -

* A jilted husband has exacted revenge on the wife who dumped him by becoming an internet sensation with a blog on unconventional ways of putting her wedding dress to use.
Kevin Cotter was crushed when his high school sweetheart walked out after 12 years of marriage. When shemoved out their home she took all her possessions except her lace and pearl embelished wedding dress. She told her soon-to-be ex-husband that he could do with it what he liked.
Mr Cotter took her at her word and decided to write a blog chronicalling the101uses for a garment that usually gets only one outing. - Paul Thompson, the Telrgraph (READ FULL ARTICLE AND/OR VIEW KEVIN'S BLOG.)

GOOD OMENS.

A Husband dearest review.

Good Omens – Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett 1998, Corgi.

I'm sure I read somewhere recently that Neil Gaiman departed this earth a few weeks ago for another place, although I hope it was neither the heaven nor hell envisaged in this book, co-written with Disc-world author Terry Pratchett. I must have been mistaken in my reading for he is apparently well ...alive and winning prizes and writing new Dr. Who episodes for the BBC, but nonetheless I  retrieved from my shelves the only book I have by him for a reread.

I had forgotten what an amusing read this book is and enjoyed again its rich characters, pointed footnotes and as the ‘Dramatis Personae’ page informs us, “full chorus of Tibetans, Aliens, Americans, Atlanteans and other rare and strange creatures of the last days”

For such is the setting of the tale, apart from a quick prologue in The Garden of Eden, the rising of the Anti-Christ, the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse, skies on fire etc. etc., with all blandishments and garnish necessary to such an event, centred in the little home counties town of Tadfield, next Saturday, just after tea. Apart from the Anti-Christ himself who determines that just because something ‘is written’ doesn’t mean it can’t be crossed out. So it is not your average Armageddon, but very definitely a theological treatise encompassing debates on freewill, fate, ineffability and the purpose of existence. It is a political document of the nature of organisations; ecological screw-ups, governments and churches and their place in the battle between good and evil.

Shadwell, the Witch-finder Sergeant, records in his discourse on the fight against evil,

“Churches? What good did they ever do? They’m just as bad. Same line o’business nearly. You can’t trust them to stamp out the evil one, cos if they did, they’d be out on that line o.business. If yer goin’ up against a tiger, ye don’t want fellow travellers whose idea of huntin’ is tae throw meat at it.”

Which pretty much reflects my own view on the church at the moment, but then I like Shadwell more than I should, as my diametrically polar opposite, a man who refers to ‘southern pansies’ with all the certitude of standing on a personal North Pole. A man who,

“…was racist in such a glowering undirected way that it was quite inoffensive; it was simply that Shadwell hated everyone in the world regardless of caste, colour or creed, and wasn’t going to make exceptions for anyone.”

I also admire the bumbling efficacy of the Witchfinder army’s newest, and only recruit, private Newton Pulsifer, who,

“…had always suspected that people who used the word community were using it in a very specific sense that excluded him and everyone he knew.”

Newt also turns out to be the last surviving descendant of, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery Pulsifer, who just happened to be the chap who burned Agnes Nutter at the stake, as the culminating explosive conclusion of a 16th century witch hunt. Agnes was the authour of ‘The Nice and Accurate Prophecies’, which are of course the definitive guide to the future and a very poor seller by virtue of said accuracy. The only remaining copy is in the hands of her remaining relative, Anathema Device co-incidentally still living in Tadfield, trying to work out why her town seems to be the focus of so many unexpected events.

More Demons than Angels throughout this book, but better reading than anything by Dan Brown.
Neal Terry, 06/07/2010

Neil Gaiman - Homepage.

A CHIMPANZEE OR A BONOBO?

Men can be likened to two types of apes - aggressive chimps and peace-loving BONOBOS, scientists have suggested.

Researchers have discovered that the way men's bodies react to competition varies just like those of their closest cousins.

Whereas 'status-striving' men tend to produce the macho hormone testosterone when challenged - which mirrors chimpanzees - laid-back men produce cortisol, nicknamed the cuddle compound, in the same way as bonobos.

Chimpanzees live in male-dominated societies where status is paramount{Whereas} among the more tolerant bonobos, a female is always dominant. - the Daily Telegraph.

Most certainly chimpanzees are these next two examples.

A man held his mother hostage at gunpoint for six hours as she wouldn't do his ironing.

Robert Edward Tyrrell Jr, 29, told her "Ironing is woman's work."
He then refused to let Billie Jo, 51, leave the house for six hours - but she escaped with a spare key and went to the police.

Robert was charged with aggravated assault and false imprisonment and remanded in custody. - the Sunday Sun.

A burglar made the wong choice when he broke into the home of a 20-stone amateur wrestler.

Lee Christie, 38, was held in a headlock by Adam Kalinowski, 37, after he was caught trying to steal a laptop computer.

Mr Kalinowski, a factory worker with one son, floored the intruder and held him until the police arived.

Christie, who is 6ft 2 inches tall, with a solid build like a rugby player, was left in tears as he struggled to free himself.

He was reduced to pleading mournfully "Leave me alone."

After the hearing {in which Christie was sentenced to two years in prison} Mr Kalinowski, a factory worker, said "I come home from work and the door is broken.

"I see the man. I mean this guy is big and I do not know what he is doing there or what was in the bag. Maybe a knife?

"Maybe it was the adrenilin {testosterone even?} but I was not scared because this is my house, my castle as you say in England." - the Daily Telegraph. (See the Mail Online's article by clicking HERE.)

Funny how I've only just discovered what a bonobo is and now here is another blog site with a story about them. Thanks to Grandmere over at WOUNDED BIRD, we have another not so nice, though equally laid-back side to bonobo:-

First off, chimps aren't "our closest primate cousin," though you'll need a sharp eye to find any mention of our other, equally intimately related cousin, the bonobo in most of these "news" stories. Like a crazy relative who lives in a shed out back, bonobos tend to get mentioned in passing-if at all-in these sweeping declarations about the ancient primate roots of war. There are plenty of reasons self-respecting journalists might want to avoid talking about bonobos (their penchant for mutual masturbation, their unapologetic homosexuality and incest, a general sense of hippie-like shamelessness pervading bonobo social life), but the biggest inconvenience is the utter absence of any Viking-like behavior ever observed among bonobos. Bonobos never rape or pillage. No war. No murder. No infanticide. (Click HERE for full post.)

SAINT SWITHIN'S DAY.

'St. Swithin's day if thou dost rain

For forty days it will remain

St. Swithin's day if thou be fair

For forty days 'twill rain nae mair.'

Swithin (also written as Swithun) was a Saxon Bishop of Winchester famous for his charitable gifts and building of churches.

Legend has it that as he lay on his deathbed, he asked to be buried out of doors (as opposed to in a church) where he would be walked and rained upon. For some nine years his wishes were followed, but then, on the 15th of July (971), the monks of Winchester attempted to remove his remains to a splendid shrine inside the cathedral.

During this removal, it is said, that there was a heavy storm which led to the 'old wives' tale (folklore) that if it rains on St. Swithin's Day (July 15th), it will rain for the next 40 days in succession whereas, if it is fine, it will be followed by 40 days of fine weather.

According to the MET OFFICE, this is nothing more than an old wives tale. Put to the 'test' on, no less than, 55 occasions, when it has been wet on July 15th and 40 days of rain did not follow.

But what about the apples associated with Saint Swithin?

Believed to be a keen grower of apple trees, there is an old saying that when it rains on St Swithin's day, it is the saint christening the apples.

Apple growers ask St. Swithin for his blessing each year as they believe:-

• 
  
  Rain on St. Swithin's day 'blesses and christens the apples'.
• 
  
  No apple should picked or eaten before July 15th.
• 
  
  Apples still growing at St Swithin's day will ripen fully.

READ MORE about Swithin.

WHY TEACHERS DRINK.

 

Many thanks to all who sent me this e-mail.

BURNT SHADOWS.

BURNT SHADOWS by KAMILA SHAMSIE.

August 9th, 1945, Nagasaki. Hiroko Tanaka steps onto her veranda, wrapped in a kimino with three black cranes swooping across the back. She is twenty-one and on the verge of marrying Konrad Weiss. In a split second, the world runs white. In the numbing aftermath of a bomb that obliterates everything she has known, all that remains are the bird-shaped burns on her back, an indelible reminder of the world she has lost.

Two years later, in search of new beginnings, Hiroko travels to Delhi to find Konrad's relatives and falls in love with their employee, Sajjad Ashraf. As the years unravel, new homes replace those left behind and old wars are seamlessly usurped by new conflicts. But the shadows of history - personal, political - are cast over the entwined worlds of the different families as they are transported from Pakistan to New York, and to Afghanistan in the wake of 9/11.

...... From the outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (from the prologue): Once he is in the cell they unshackle him and instruct him to strip.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: "I understand that the English might acknowledge their mistakes in order to maintain the illusion of their fairness and sense of justice, but they will not actually apologise for those mistakes when they are perpetrated on an Indian."

After the opening few chapters, everything about this novel seemed to fall flat. With no real highs or lows to speak of, it plodded along until its inevitable end leaving me feeling that the time invested in reading it could have been better spent.

Despite covering so many noteworthy periods in history, many of them traumatic, the author did not seem capable of conveying any real emotional depth to either plot or characters which is a shame as I feel this novel actually had a lot to offer.

Not a book I'd recommend, it took me all my time and determination to finish it.

Burnt Shadows was a book club read.

I'LL SCREAM AND SCREAM .......

Thinking of a title for this post, an image came into my mind. An image of a young girl in a gingham dress, ginger ringlets in hair, screeching "I'll scream and scream 'til I'm sick." Except it never came out as that as the said girl had a lisp so what you actually heard was "I'll thcweam and thcweam until I'm thick."

Not just in my imagination, research led me to Violet Elizabeth Bott, the somewhat spoiled daughter of the local nouveau riche millionaire in Just William a BBC TV DRAMA based on the BOOKS  by RICHMAL CROMPTON.

Anyway, no real connection, I've never been known to stamp my feet and 'thcweam' until I'm sick (well not lately at any rate), I just wanted a title for my latest wish list and there was Violet Elizabeth Bott.

In terms of scale and quality, it is one of the finest collections of first edition books assembled in recent times, containing all of the great works of English literature, from Shakespeare's collected poems to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and James Joyce's Ulysses.
SOTHEBY'S recently announced it was to sell what it's specialist Peter Selley called "the most impressive collection of English literature assembled by any British collector in the last 30 or 40 years." - Mark Brown, the Guardian.

Hmm, perhaps a bit out of my price range. As is this .......

 £8,000 futuristic toilet pod.

A quiet and achingly stylish hygiene revolution kicked off in the bowels of a shop in east London, where rows of futuristic white pods crouched patiently, hoping to attract the attention of passing buttocks.
The pods - some functionally square, others gently contoured like the bills of tubby ducks - are among the most luxurious, modern and expensive toilet units in the world. Beneath their seamless exteriors, the machines conceal an arsenal of intimate hoses, sudden dryers and invisible deodorisers that make most loos seem medieval. - Sam Jones, the Guardian.

To be honest of much more appeal (and costing less money I would have thought) is the phone unlocked by the beat of your heart (how romantic is that?)

The beating of your heart could soon unlock mobile phones under plans by (who else?) computer giant Apple.
A PATENT APPLICATION filed by the manufacturer has disclosed that the firm is developing heartbeat sensors to put into portable electronic devices.
While the technology may be used to monitor the heart rate of people such as cardiac patients, the patent states that it could have wider uses. These include allowing the owner to unlock their phone or authorise financial transactions. - Richard Gray, The Telegraph.

And so onto something I wouldn't be so keen to have.

Fizzy cola milk. Yeah, that's right, fizzy cola milk.

A dairy farmer in New Zealand has taken on Coco-Cola in a dispute over his invention of fizzy cola-flavoured milk
Richard Revell, whose farmland is where HOBBITON was created for The Lord of The Rings films, has been banned from selling his 'MO2' drink at an agricultural show.

TEA ETIQUETTE.

Known for our love of tea, I thought I'd post the correct etiquette just in case you ever decide to pop around to Pen and Paper for a cuupa.

• Place your fingers to the front and back of the handle with the pinkie (little) finger tilted slightly up for the balance.
• It is considered rude to loop the fingers through the handle or to hold the body of the cup with the palm of the hand.
• Tea should always be sipped.
• It is also considered rude to stir your tea in wide circular motions.
• To stir, hold the teaspoon at the six o'clock position to begin. Any liquid is folded lightly towards the 12 o'clock position two or three times.
• The teaspoon should never be left in the teacup.
• When not in use, the teaspoon is placed on the right side of the tea saucer.
• When not in use, the teacup is placed back on the saucer rather then held.
• If having milk in your tea, pouring either the tea or the milk into the cup first constitutes good manners.
• Cream is generally avoided as it can mask the taste of the tea.
• When having lemon with tea, delicate lemon slices are generally offered. A small fork is usually provided for adding lemon.
• Don't combine lemon with milk in tea, as the lemon juice will cause the milk to curdle.
• Any sandwiches or treats should be eaten in delicate bites. Remember to smile and chat between bite.

Have you got all of that? No? Not to worry you can always have a mug of coffee instead. But if you do prefer tea, remember that here in the PW household:-

• Unless you are here for an evening meal or specifically ask for a teacup, you will generally be served tea in a mug. If it is served in a teacup during the day without your having asked, it is because we haven't bothered to wash up and there are no clean mugs.
• Likewise, a saucer is not generally provided so there is no need to worry about the placing of the cup or teaspoon.
• I tend to keep hold of my mug but coasters/mats are provided on surfaces if you wish to put your mug down. Putting it down on wooden surfaces will be silently frowned upon but not as much as putting it down on my Turkish rug which is very expensive to clean.
• I drink my tea black but always pour in the milk after the tea for every one who prefers it with milk. If I'm out to impress, a milk jug will be used so that you can add tea to milk/milk to tea as you wish. If not, your tea will be served with milk added as an after thought.
• Lemon is not usually provided. However a fruity herbal infusion may usually be found at the back of a cupboard if you prefer that to TETLEY'S TEA which is Husband dearests preferred brand (I drink my tea so weak, I can't actually tell brands apart).
• As for smiling and chatting in between bites of sandwiches/treats, with me in the room you might find it difficult to get a 'word in edge ways' anyway so simply smiling may have to suffice.

WHOOPS!

Young at heart and obviously still juvenile when it comes down to falling trousers, I couldn't help but laugh at this.

No apology could be as heartfelt as that offered by Councillor Colin Hall, the major of Leicester, who stood up in front of an audience of schoolchildren and watched .......... his trousers fall down. "I would like to offer my deepest apologies to anyone who was offended," he said, explaining that he'd had forgotten that day to wear a belt. - the Guardian.

Obviously mortified, if the children I worked with are anything to go by these children were more likely to find the whole incident extremely funny rather than offensive. A word to his lordship though - get some trousers that fit or be sure to remember your belt.

A MERCY.

A MERCY by TONI MORRISON.

On the day that Jacob agrees to accept a slave as payment for a debt, little Florens's life changes. With her intelligence and passion for wearing the cast-off shoes of her mistress, Florens has never blended into the background and now, aged eight, she is taken from her family to begin a new life. She ends up part of Jacob's household, along with his wife Rebekka, their native-American servant Lina and the enigmatic Sorrow, who was rescued from a shipwreck. Together these women face the trials of their harsh environment as Jacob attempts to carve out a place for himself in the brutal landscape of the north of America in the seventeenth century.

....... From the outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE: Don't be afraid.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: He believed we would love God more if we knew the letters to read by.

At only 165 pages long this should have been a quick read and yet I found it to be anything but - re-reading most pages several times, I found myself looking for a deeper meaning in the words.

A bit like the folks in the story of THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES I so wanted to see something beautiful, something of merit and yet, to be honest, I just didn't.

Try as I might, I just couldn't find anything exceptional in the plot and as for the characters? I felt I should have felt something for the women and yet, truth be told, I just couldn't bring myself to care for them.

A real disappointment, I somehow can't help but feel guilty that given the subject matter I should have been moved by A Mercy and it's tale of humanity.

A Mercy was a book club read.

BLACK WATER RISING.

A Husband dearest book review.

Black Water Rising by Attica Locke. Serpents Tail, 2009.

This is getting to be habit forming, my beloved passing me a book and asking for a review. Fortunately, I enjoyed this one very much; it helped me pass an otherwise unproductive day immersed in a good story.

Quite a topical read, as it turns out, oil, and the American passion for it, in the perhaps now aged story of capital versus labour. Marx even gets a mention at one point in this place where the capital and labour are divided on the lines of race. The story is aged but remains true if recent events in the gulf of Mexico are anything to go by, and the story as it unfolds did put me in mind of Robert Tressell's, The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists. The exploration of this battle through the impact it has on the lives of people; the choices they have to make, the seeming choicelessness, the deceits, the abuses, the sleepwalk to oblivion, selflessness and selfishness.

The perhaps unwitting, certainly unwilling hero, Jay, a black lawyer, ex Black Panther now scratching a living in the poorer suburbs of 1980’s Houston has to struggle with all of these. Searching for a witness to shore up the only case he has and desperate for income with his wife heavily pregnant with their first child. At the same time he is withholding material evidence as a witness himself to another crime. He has also received a good deal of hush money, albeit under duress. Yet he has not lost all of his youthful activist idealism, for he wants more than anything,

“Something more than the early movements fight for legal equality and freedom in the streets. Jays dream was for freedom in his own mind, liberation from the kind of soul-crushing fear that took his fathers life.”

The crime investigations going on throughout this book are also sufficiently convoluted to be engaging, slowly unfolding the wrinkles twists and turns, offer thoughtful commentary on the nature of sin. Is it personal choice or structural failure? It also contains much material for reflection on the development of arguments in equality and diversity, through a brief historical perspective on the civil rights movements through the fifties to the seventies. As the union dispute heightens, a key meeting hears Jays father in law, the Revd Boykins,

“I think the hope has always been that you see what you see, and you take us anyway for who we are…Not that we all go around pretending we’re the same. I don’t see how that helps anybody”

I struggle with the blurbs and comments suggestion that this is a ‘thriller’ as it lacks the pace that I would associate with that term. If anything the text almost exists in sibilant harmony with the long hot august afternoons in Texas in which it take place, too hot to do anything at speed. It is nonetheless engaging with sufficient crises and peaks plus the odd red herring, and some tense moments in court. Nor do I feel that this novel truly sits well as ‘crime fiction’. That is more the shell within which is a precious sweet kernel of social commentary, which begins and ends in the author doing what many first time writers are advised to do, Write what you know’. Perhaps this feeling simply reflects my own worldview for I was delighted to discover in the authors end piece that the turning event of the book and its subsequent development, is an extrapolation from an incident in her family’s life, where a differing decision is taken. A ‘what if’…

She references her father,

“For him is had become an almost religious parable, a tale in which one might discover the person who they really are: A man who is led by cynicism or by his faith.”

For me too, Ms Locke, me too.

A very impressive first novel and one that I shall be recommending to friends and the kids at work.

Neal Terry, 06/07/2010

Attica Locke – Homepage.

Petty Witter says: Obviously another book we are going to have to agree to disagree on. I loved Robert Tressell's THE RAGGED TROUSERED PHILANTHROPISTS but did not enjoy Black Water Rising at all (See my review HERE) - perhaps because I could identify with the working class painters and decorators of Tressell's novel whereas, try as I might, I just couldn't do that with the characters of Black Water Rising. Nearly forgot, thanks for the review.

SHE AWARDS #5.

Dedicated to Aine over at THE EVOLVING SPIRIT who dreamt up Inspirational Women Wednesday and  is recovering having had her gallbladder removed - I wish you well Aine.

The International Businesswoman - Sophi Tranchell.

Raised by activist parents who campaigned against APARTHEID and military dictatorships in South America, Sophi was introduced to social justice at an early age. "It was all I knew. I can't imagine not being passionate about it," she says. She immersed herself in campaigns at university and afterwards became chair of London Anti-Apartheid.

It was while she was running a firm that imported Latin-American films that she saw a job advert for a Fair trade chocolate brand and applied straight away. More excited about the project than her role within it - she was hoping for a marketing job - she was astonished to be offered the job of Managing Director.

Despite her previous lack of experience in food retail, Sophi has turned the unknown company into a household name. DIVINE is the first company co-owned by those who grow the raw product - the cocoa farmers in Ghana.

"Before I had even officially started I went to Ghana to meet the farmers. Ten years on, it's amazing to see the changes in their lives - not just from their earnings but from the pride and empowerment of being involved in an international company - they love having a head office in London!"

Sophi is also the founder of TRADING VISIONS, an education charity - SHE magazine.

Apologies - I was unable to bring you The Innovator as stated in last weeks post.

Having read all about THE JUGGLER, THE CHAMPION, THE SURVIVOR and THE HUMANITARIAN in previous posts, which women inspires you the most?

MY FAMILY TREE.

Inspired by Tracie's post entitled WARNING: FAMILY TREE MAY CONTAIN NUTS, I thought I'd post about my researching my family tree.

Something I'd thought about for a lot of years, it was my late Nana's insistence that we were related to the Rowntree family that finally decided me. That, and the very first episode of Who Do you Think You Are - A BBC tv programme in which 'celebrities' trace their family trees.

Now as lots of you are aware I love (with a capital 'l') my chocolate. So much so that people have been known to joke that it is chocolate that runs through my veins, that when I cut myself  I bleed pure chocolate - imagine then how excited I was to think that Nana could be right and I might indeed be related to JOSEPH ROWNTREE, founder of the chocolate dynasty.

To cut a long story short and not to keep you all in suspense, research showed that I wasn't related to Joseph Rowntree but ..........

I was related to a family of Rontree's who, believe it or not, were confectioners. Living in York at the back end of the 18th century, the lady of the house was one of many COTTAGE INDUSTRY workers who, in order to 'make ends meet', worked from home as a subcontractor, producing confectionery.

An easy mistake to make, I can see how over the years Rontree became Rowntree. I'm just so glad that Nana wasn't completely wrong.

So did I learn anything else?

Yes, I learnt that a lot of my ancestors actually came from Norfolk. Finding it difficult to cope with the onset of the INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION many travelled to the north east of England looking for work in the factories and the coal mining and shipping industries.

Most strange of all though, it turns out that some settled not far from Husband dearest's long-dead relatives, working in the same coal mines. To think that our relatives worked and lived side by side really excites me and I sometimes joke that if I go any further back we will find that we are actually related.

Have you tried to research your family tree? Did you discover you were related to anyone with an exciting story to tell.

JUNE 2010 AWARDS.

After last month's disaster with the awards (remember I managed to delete the post), I thought I'd best be extra careful this time. So .......

Many thanks:-

Not a blogger herself but a follower of Pen and Paper, I received this from Susan via FaceBook.

Knowing I dislike my real name, Susan asks what I'd liked to have been called. Well I was going to be called Carol until I was born and my mam thought I didn't look like a Carol. Ma-in-Law insists I look like a Jessica and, as a child, I wanted to be called Christine or Melanie. Any of these would have been preferable.

As each and every one of my fellow blogger buddies is committed to blogging I'd like you all to take the 'spreading the blog joy' award and pass it on, spreading yet more blogger joy.

Betty @ CUT AND DRY for The Best Blog Buddy Award.

As there were no 'rules' specified for this one I'd like to pass it onto any of my blogger buddies who care to take it. All wonderful, I owe such a lot to so many of you

Niki @ NIKI'S BOOK REVIEWS for The Versatile Blogger Award.

The only 'rules' being I list seven things you didn't know about me.

• 
  
  I have hay fever.
• 
  
  I'm known as Aunty Taitty to  niece #1.
• 
  
  As a child she went through a stage of calling me Beesie (Nobody knows why).
• 
  
  As a child I was 'savaged' (OK, bitten) by my pet hamster.
• 
  
  My favourite colour is yellow.
• 
  
  I'm allergic to celery.
• 
  
  The most beautiful building I've ever visited is the BLUE MOSQUE in Istanbul, Turkey.

And this one goes to..... Husband and wife teams CHRIS AND JESS, and (Mr and Mrs) BOONSONG who work together to produce such wonderful blogs. Also to R. RAMESH for his charming blog and olde worlde courtesy and 'young un's' NINA, ODDY and, NABILAH all three of whom have restored my faith in young people. (And don't I feel old writing that!)